Intiative

Holy God,
I believe that you sometimes initiate a change of heart in me so that I will desire to be in closer relationship with you. Self ambition and spiritual blindness steal my passion for you , and sometimes you need to point out these ways within me. Your Holy Spirit convicts me of my sin , prompting me to remember you , to confess my waywardness, and seek restoration with you . Lord God, thank you that you take the initiative in this way. But you don't only point out the offense; you also guide me back to the right path. You never initiate a change of heart and then abandon me. Thank you for constantly taking the first step. No matter how many times I wander, you are always ready to take me back and restore me into a right relationship with you.

*** " My wayward children," says the LORD, 'Come back to me, and I will heal your wayward hearts." JEREMIAH 3:22 ***

I remember a phone convestion that I was having with a bill collector that immediately made me angry once he announce the company he was with. Since the begining of our sign up with the company we had not received regular bills. As you can imaginge running a household with three children and participating in several activities on a weekly basis can cause one to lose track of a thing or two , Especially when you never get a bill. This hadnt been the first time receiving the " PAST DUE" phone call and it hadnt been the first time I blew up on the phone. At that time I felt i was justified for yelling at the person on the other end and it was okay since it wasnt the first mess up in this one department. Have you ever heard the saying " SEEING RED" ? Thats what I felt like, I was tired , frustrated and this phone call was about to be that straw that broke the camels back. " MOMMY, IS THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO DOING SOMETHING WRONG?" Once my four year old said these words I realized that it was not his fault I didnt receive my bill. He was not the one printing out all the bills. He was mearly doing the job he was given. I immediately asked the man what his name was again and started to apologize to him. I went on to say that it was wrong of me to yell at him since he was just calling to let me know about my bill so my services would not be closed.
I felt so angry and horrible at the same time during that conversation . I kept justifying my actions and trying to make them excusable because I was the one who had been wronged. But The Lord helped me realize that I was the one who was wrong . He changed my heart in an instant and helped me to apologize to the man. That man thanked me at the end of our phone call, saying he was yelled at for most of his work day and having one person say sorry meant a lot. I didnt feel great about my actions that day but I can say that I could have felt worse had I not listened to The Lord and bit my tounge and apologized to a complete stanger.

Its easy to try and justify sin, but the harder task of taking the initiative to admit being wrong and apologize is the one rewarded by growning closer to The Lord-T